Archives for posts with tag: snooki

Furor Shnooks?

I love Snooki like nothing else. Anything negative in the world can be blamed on her and nobody has to argue about it. It’s the Snooki effect. That’s what bother’s me about Snooki more than anything else – the fact that she actually doesn’t bother me that much. Maybe she’s like a Charlie Sheen, playing us all. The Snooki Conspiracy. I thought, “Maybe Snooki is a cultural ninja infiltrating the airwaves.”

After realizing the Snooki influence was surrounding me I decided to leave the infested culture behind and begin my studies from a secret Snooki-proof lair somewhere outside Area 51. From here I slowly decoded the Snooki Secret. I followed her rise to MTV-fame and poof-hair influence all the way from the time she was born from her own Snooki. That’s correct, she comes from a long pure-blooded line of Snooki. Read the rest of this entry »

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life is the universal default

I was laying on the floor in my mother’s apartment with bloodshot eyes when the answer to life hit me: just kill myself! It made perfect sense logically – life is terrible, so just stop doing it. (Oh the raging hormones of a depressed twenty-something!) I laid there with the inescapable Answer but it didn’t feel quite right. I knew something was askew. I was depressed and everything was terrible and the last nice thing I thought to myself was, “Good job, you took a shower today!” That had been three days prior.

There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. – Albert Camus

It seems like the answer to that question is in every breath taken, meal eaten.

Sometimes life fails us and we need to end it. End the experience.

Here’s the secret: You don’t kill your whole self. Read the rest of this entry »

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