Archives for posts with tag: self-reliance

I love books because I’m a mind peeper. It’s fun to find out things you think by reading what other people think. Sometimes books have something to teach, sometimes they have something to entertain you with, and sometimes they are a demonstration of a stupid mind. Books can take more time to go into something than a blog post. When somebody has an idea big enough for a book – not an idea stretched to fit a book – then it takes time to soak in. Most books are stretched ideas or non-ideas, they don’t offer anything. As I understand it, Fifty Shades of Grey offered some moist panties because it mentioned butt plugs. That’s cool. I think that book probably made a lot of lives better. Once the end came and you found out she was on heroin the entire time and her lover was actually a fourteen year old boy (I’m nearly positive that isn’t the case) the magic was over. There aren’t a lot of books that you remember. There are even fewer books that take your mind and warp it so hard that you can never forget what they taught.

A lot of my close friends read solely non-fiction. “HA! Childish stories? Have fun Kyle…” Read the rest of this entry »

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[This first bit of this is my own depression. In the depths of shit it’s nice to read about somebody else’s depths sometimes. If you don’t want to join the pity-party then scroll down to the bold to find Depression-starving ideas.]

don’t kid yourself!

Every moment was proof of my worthlessness. Every thought proof of my guilt. Every interaction a demonstration of the complete ominous nature of life. My future grew darker as I learned through irrational, yet completely convincing, thoughts to hate myself and the world more perfectly.

And then the light bulb went off, the answer loud and clear: kill yourself! Rid yourself of the the world and the shackles of society. One free act and forever my problems fixed.

But then I remembered that I’ll be dead anyway. So why worry about it? Live like you’re dying! Because you are! … Then back into depression.

When I was thrown into this stormy state of being I had just raised half a million dollars to manage in a fund I had just started. I had trade setups sure to bring me unlimited wealth in my life. I also had outlined and was bringing a team together to form SelfMadeU, the first business to provide a complete education on how to survive and thrive in this world without a college education. There would be an accompanying documentary I was sure would take the gold at Sundance. I graduated, took a well-paying job. Then it hit. A fucking critical hit because something snapped. Unable to do anything well – in my mind anyway – I thought the best course of action was to drop everything and fix the mind.

Well, it turns out depression doesn’t get ‘fixed’. I moved in with my divorcing parents and things went downhill quick. Into that sucky dark weighty abyss completely void of hope or trusted happiness (each smile is a ‘lie’). It’s shit and there is no way around that.

Nobody ever told me that becoming a man was more about feeling big boy pain (soul pain!) than killing wolves. Nobody sat me down and said, “Son, one day you are going to be hurt on a level that is unfathomable. One day everything you believe now is going to be shot in the face and you’re going to be left with an existential void that you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to figure out or forgetting.”

if only it were so obvious

Read the rest of this entry »

We kill faith every time we demand it of something that isn’t there. Religious institutions are built on demanding you believe things for now reason. I’m not even sure what happened in my own head last week but these people try to tell me I should believe their account of what happened in some guy’s head thousands of years ago. “It’s obviously true if you just take the leap of faith! Then you’ll truly see the glory of My Golden Calf.” The one thing that is blasphemy is my own experience. _____ forbid I have faith in my own Seeing. Buddha said the only thing you should trust is your own experience of life. Then they built golden statues of fat-face Buddha representing his own experience. Sure, it’s a picture of what experience could be, but it’s awfully hard to hold yourself in esteem while kissing a golden foot. “Burn the Buddha!”, is what I always say this once.

respecting your experience even if you can’t respect yourself

Faith is an imperative of life, though. Read the rest of this entry »

public broadcasting, deprogramming to reprogram, teenage vampire enthusiasts

I’m so brainwashed that I think about Snooki. She serves as an explanation for every poofy-haired girl with hoopy earings and a face of oral fixation I’ve ever seen. Even though the hair is probably Gwyn Stefani. Holla-back girl! I’m so brainwashed I think happiness can be found in a study. I’m so brainwashed I start to believe the news whole-heartedly after watching it for five minutes. I can talk about a news headline for a full day.

I scrubbed my head Read the rest of this entry »

easy as pie

Experts are tools to be used. Do not worship false idols! Watching any news channel is to be used by the experts. They are selling you their confidence and paid-for opinions.

Don’t be brainwashed by studies. There are a billion infographics showing information from studies on how to be the most productive person in the world. They don’t know how you work best. If you use studies then you will be aiming at somewhere slightly above average. The only use of these things is to test ideas for yourself. To run a self-experiment.

Rule of thumb: experts that approach you are useless. Pick your experts carefully and only use what they say as an idea to be run through a test.

A great 40 minute bit exposing experts as fools selling confidence:

 

pshh

said something. Quotes are powerful because they connect us to the myth of a person. Consider:

“The best way to help mankind is through the perfection of yourself.” – Lord Krishna

That was about three thousand years before Jesus. Then Gandhi comes along and says
“Be the change you want to see in the world” a few years ago. Nobody gives a shit what Krishna said, or even know anything about him. But we can connect with Gandhi. We know he wore diaper-esque things and he used civil disobedience to do something memorable.

Can't get there from here

You can find a quote from any person to support any topic. Every great quote has it’s antithesis. But knowing this, it’s not bad to hold onto a quote and the ‘god’ who it’s attributed to. It can drive us to do the things we need to do. However, we should be aware that quotes often aren’t the universal truths they seem to be. And they people that wrote them aren’t the ‘gods’ they seem to be. It’s good to hold that ideal in our minds because it can drive us to experience our life in a more real way.

I’m the worst when it comes to quoting.

I made what I consider a guide to Emerson’s Self-Reliance. It is by far the most important essay I’ve read. Every time I read it I am blown away by new insight. He’s a champ. I’ve made the guide I want to go back to to review this awesome essay, I hope you’ll benefit from it as well.

Self Reliance

 

 

If our young men miscarry in their first enterprises, they lose all heart. If the young merchant fails, men say he is ruined. If the finest genius studies at one of our colleges, and is not installed in an office within one year afterwards in the cities or suburbs of Boston or New York, it seems to his friends and to himself that he is right in being disheartened, and in complaining the rest of his life. A sturdy lad from New Hampshire or Vermont, who in turn tries all the professions, who teams itfarms itpeddles, keeps a school, preaches, edits a newspaper, goes to Congress, buys a township, and so forth, in successive years, and always, like a cat, falls on his feet, is worth a hundred of these city dolls. He walks abreast with his days, and feels no shame in not ‘studying a profession,’ for he does not postpone his life, but lives already. He has not one chance, but a hundred chances.

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