Archives for posts with tag: list

thank you, amazon

Most business books should be lengthy blog posts, not books. But nobody will pay for a book and if you said, “I blogged my ideas based on research we did” you would get laughed at. I love business books, they have great ideas in them, but the authors feel like they need to write a big stack of shit about it for the idea to be worth anything. And, in many people’s eyes, they’re right

That’s what happened with Carol S. Dweck’s Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. A little bit anyway. It has a great idea

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My 10 step program will free you from the tyranny of the burrito!

I am a Chipotle Expert. I was once interviewed by FOX News and in the corner of the screen it said, “Kyle Eschenroeder”. Then it said, “Chipotle Expert”. I swear to God. I’ve spent a good portion of my life mastering the Chipotle Order.

Joseph Campbell said that the hero’s journey must include bringing it all home. Without that it’s incomplete. So I stand before you as your Chipotle Hero. I have gone through the trenches and done my worst to get a big-ass bowl of food. The dragons have been confronted, the dark nights illuminated, the reflections reflected. I present to you, the Sacred Secrets of Ordering Chipotle.

The journey to the ultimate SALAD (!?)

  1. Smile. Don’t walk up to the Counter of Dreams pouting at the being who is going dish up your dish. If you have breasteses, display them graciously.
  2. Get a SALAD. Don’t let the fools make you feel like a pussy for saying the word ‘salad’. Science shows us that Chipotle Salads are the heaviest food items available. If you want a tortilla then ask – they’ll give you TWO. And get the dressing. It’s delicious.
  3. Brown rice. No trick, it’s just better for you than that nasty white shit. Read the rest of this entry »
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