Archives for posts with tag: conspiracy

Furor Shnooks?

I love Snooki like nothing else. Anything negative in the world can be blamed on her and nobody has to argue about it. It’s the Snooki effect. That’s what bother’s me about Snooki more than anything else – the fact that she actually doesn’t bother me that much. Maybe she’s like a Charlie Sheen, playing us all. The Snooki Conspiracy. I thought, “Maybe Snooki is a cultural ninja infiltrating the airwaves.”

After realizing the Snooki influence was surrounding me I decided to leave the infested culture behind and begin my studies from a secret Snooki-proof lair somewhere outside Area 51. From here I slowly decoded the Snooki Secret. I followed her rise to MTV-fame and poof-hair influence all the way from the time she was born from her own Snooki. That’s correct, she comes from a long pure-blooded line of Snooki. Read the rest of this entry »

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I went to the RNC some time ago, quite some time! (Why do we say ‘some’ to mean a lot when we talk about time but just a little bit when talking about other things?) While the Maine Massacre  had happened I was in Maine sitting on a lakeknowing exactly zero about the madness of the Mainerds (“spelling?” I had to write that if I thought I may have misspelled something in school; school likes to reward those who are scared about being wrong instead of hopeful in being right) in Tampa. When I came back to the lovely mugginess of Florida I had to check out the main event. I was planning on selling some shirts with “OMG WTF” on them, the “O” was an Obama symbol.

a friend wearing a friendly shirt

But Will got stuck in traffic and behind streets that were closed down by armies of bicycle cops. I sat on a concrete barrier and looked at the people around me. Then I wrote this on my phone: Read the rest of this entry »

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