what an honorable fellow

It’s terrible to be selfish. It’s bad for you and it’s bad for me. Altruism is the ideal! You must sacrifice everything for the good of whatever isn’t your good. Don’t you dare do that thing for you!

We share some very confusing morals. Whoever proclaimed sacrifice as the highest good wasn’t a very good person because if he was then he would enjoy his ‘sacrifices’ and then they would be self-satisfying acts. Dare I say selfish act? When everything that makes you happy is wrong and everything that hurts you is right, we don’t even need original sin to feel guilty 100% of the time.

We put selfishness and altruism exist on a sort of continuum. In the middle there are things that aren’t for you or me but just are. As we move closer to the ends we become selfish or altruistic people. I think this is a false dichotomy. This line dividing altruism and selfishness is useless. As we become perfectly selfish we become perfectly altruistic.

can you find the nonexistent subliminal message?

Ayn Rand was a champion for ‘selfishness‘ but I think a lot of the subtleties are generally lost. It’s been a few years since reading her so maybe I’m just making it up that there were any subtleties to be lost. Either way, I think selfishness and altruism need to be looked at closer. I think we should look at them until they melt into the same thing.

According to Urban Dictionary, selfy is a “self portrait of yourself usually by teen girls”. Fine, I’m adding a definition to the list: Selfy is a state of mind where selfishness and altruism melt away. Selfy is perfect selfishness.

What does this even mean? Really I just want to burn the ledger of selfish and selfless actions. If we are in a flow state then we, by definition, have lost our sense of self. It’s complete immersion in an activity. It’s being in your own world. Self melts away and with it the piece of mind who says ‘this is selfish’.

Anybody who has ever given a gift knows how great it feels. Is it less good to be generous because it feels good?

Anybody who stresses about accumulating a never-ending ‘more’ – belongings, love, anything – for themselves knows how terrible it feels.  In this case, you’re having a terrible time being selfish. To me this looks like sacrificing oneself for external factors.

If selfishness means making life better for me then the most selfish things I’ve done involved making life better for other people. This is with all of us. The only score that matters is internal quality of life. Everything else supports that.

Self-centeredness is obsessing on your ego until neurosis hits. Selfy is knowing that your needs -physical, mental, emotional – are met and so you can forget about yourself.

A thing that is explained ceases to concern us—What did the God mean who gave the advice, “Know thyself!” Did it perhaps imply “Cease to be concerned about thyself! become objective!”—And Socrates?—And the “scientific man”? –  Friedrich Nietzsche

Why do we worship people who sacrifice their life for something they don’t really want to be doing? Wouldn’t they be serving society and themselves in a better way if they were happy with what they were doing?

A parent chooses to raise a kid instead of other things. If this this is treated as a sacrifice rather than a selfy choice then neither the kid or the parent is going to have much fun. The parent resents and the kid feels it.

Selfyness is being stubborn in doing the work you want to when you want to.

Selfyness is giving – time and money and attention and any other resource – to people and things that you feel good about giving to. Not the ego-tripping criminals that start shitty non-profits and charities.

Selfyness looks different in each person. It feels the same throughout though. The doctor who went to Africa to help Africans looks much different than the one who went to boost his ego or repent. There is a tangible difference in the person confident because he’s not looking at himself and the one who is confident because he knows what is on his resume.

That’s a weird thing to say, “… because he’s not looking at himself…” I mean to say the one who is in flow. In the state of flow you no longer have any attention to observe the self because all your awareness belongs to the activity at hand. It’s the same as being ‘in the zone’. There isn’t any self-referencing because you are being completely selfish. You are worrying zero about anything except what you are doing. Also, this is a state of perfect selflessness, you are giving yourself so fully to whatever you are doing that you can’t even think about it!

How do we get into flow? From the wikipedia entry:

There are three conditions that are necessary to achieve the flow state:

  1. One must be involved in an activity with a clear set of goals. This adds direction and structure to the task.[9]
  2. One must have a good balance between the perceived challenges of the task at hand and his or her own perceived skills. One must have confidence that he or she is capable to do the task at hand.[9]
  3. The task at hand must have clear and immediate feedback. This helps the person negotiate any changing demands and allows him or her to adjust his or her performance to maintain the flow state.[9]

Communication is weird because pretty much zero percent of it has to do with words. Here’s another list of three from some demi-god’s research:

Here’s the overly-simplistic interpretation. Where you see or use it, qualify it, in proper context.

  • 7% of meaning in the words that are spoken.
  • 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said).
  • 55% of meaning is in facial expression.

Words do very little to convince people of anything on their own. If we want to spread happiness we got to be happiness. And to be happy we got to get healthy – in all sorts of ways. To be healthy you got to benefit yourself. To benefit yourself you must benefit others. Selfyness kills the guilt that comes out of contradicting morals.

Oh sweet Jesus, we’re at the end of this writing and I got to figure out some new way to get selfy.