According the Internet, Jesus didn’t give everything in his lectures. He let loose parables for the public but kept his logic for his disciples. All his private teachings got trashed when Constantine declared Christianity the official religion of Rome. This is Gnostic Christianity. My memory is telling me that they believe God is a metaphor for life-affirming principles. That’s nice.

The other day I saw a large donut. I wasn’t hungry, but I wanted that shit in my mouth. In it went and the whole time I ate it I thought, “Shit, I’m not even having fun.” That was a little sad. Then I looked at memes for at least forty-five minutes after they were funny. I don’t know why I did these things, but I know I wasn’t being godly, Gnostic-Jesus would not have been proud.

But economics tells us we do what is best for us! Everything I do is life affirming, bitch! We have no issues shoving lard into our stomachs or watching Snooki’s oral performances on MTV. We praise people who stress about work when we know stress shits cancer. We ‘treat’ ourselves with sugars that are not-s0-great for us. I tried to return a dehumidifier at Wal-Mart the other day. I’m pretty sure there a God-count of zero in the entire store. Sad people following sad rules.

There isn’t a list of godly and non-godly actions. Well, there are, but I think they are just joking. But if I’m going to be Gnostic-God and just want to affirm life then the posture of the actor definitely means something about the action. A glass of whiskey can be a perfectly perfect moment or the saddest thing in the – a? – world. Digging a hole can be a part of a mission or just one more sad hole being dug. Affirm life affirm life affirm Life. LIFE LIFE LIFE WAHOOO!

I wrote this for you

Dearest you

You winning sperm

You infinite thing-being

Or being-thing or both

Not sure what you’re doing

But I know it’s enough

Cause it’s your can of Did-ery

With the pour of Do-ery

Slowly steadily coming in

It’s your moment in Nowever

Here there and then

So regret not regretting

And be to see

That life is a lifeing

Not that thing